I Stand Amid the Eternal Ways
by bamelot89
Summary: An angel and a warlock have a chat sooner than expected.


_Nor time, nor space, nor deep, nor high,_  
_Can keep my own away from me._

* * *

Merlin toed at the ground with his boot, one leg bent and the other stretched out. It was the middle of an overcast afternoon, and he'd come to sit by the water's edge, like he did many days.

"Hello, Castiel," he said when he felt another presence beside him.

"Hello, Merlin." The angel arranged himself beside the warlock, crossing his legs in an all too human manner. Merlin was used to wings and hands and light so bright he thought his eyes would burn when he'd first seen it. But he'd come to know it as beautiful. A creature of grace and power so immense…but with no ill will towards him. This vessel was limber and fair-skinned. Blue eyes, dark hair that reminded Merlin of earth after rain.

They sat in silence for a while, listening the nothing but the breeze and the birds.

"You seem different," Merlin eventually said, turning his head to face Castiel.

"I am," Castiel said. "Different."

"Did something happen?" Merlin asked. "You usually don't stop by more than once a decade. It's only been…what, five years?"

The angel sighed. "Much has happened since we last spoke."

Merlin reclined his back to the grass, green blades mixing with his shaggy, black hair. "Tell me."

"I'll assume you were aware of the strange events that were happening a couple years ago."

Merlin nodded. "The air felt…wrong. All of a sudden everything felt off."

"That would have been when Lucifer was released."

"What, he got out?" Merlin asked, mildly surprised. He knew the apocalypse was foretold, but Arthur still hadn't returned, and he couldn't if there was no one to need him.

"There were seals that had to be broken," Castiel explained, "before the door would open."

Merlin smiled humorlessly. "I guess the good side doesn't always win, does it."

Castiel rested his elbows on his legs and his chin on folded fingers. "Good and bad don't seem so clear anymore."

Merlin rolled his head to watch Castiel. He hadn't meant to say anything to hurt him. "But the world hasn't ended yet. I thought it might, but it didn't. So that means something."

"I suppose," Castiel said, eyes skimming over the water's surface. After several minutes of silence, he continued. "I pulled a man from Hell."

"Impressive."

"His name was Dean Winchester. He was supposed to be Michael's vessel. His brother was Lucifer's. Things turned out unexpectedly though."

"Things like the apocalypse not happening?"

"Yes. And…other things."

"You got attached," Merlin guessed. It would explain the changes in him. The way he spoke, the way he held himself, the emotions Merlin sensed. More human. It had been a while since he'd taken a vessel—at least that Merlin had seen—centuries, in fact.

"You could say that."

"Was it Dean?"

Castiel didn't answer immediately. "It was Dean."

He didn't say anything for a while, so Merlin asked. "Any news on my dollophead's return?"

Castiel smiled, just a softening around the corners of his mouth. He shook his head. "I don't know when Arthur Pendragon will rise."

"I thought it would be before now, you know? I mean…the apocalypse nearly happened. You'd think he would come back before that."

Castiel's brow dipped into a V. "Yes…you'd think…hm."

Merlin gave him a questioning look, then breathed out a quiet, "Oh." He sat up a bit, resting on his elbows. "The apocalypse was never a set in stone deal, was it?"

Castiel shook his head, a miniscule gesture of disbelief. "It couldn't have been. Not if Arthur's return hadn't happened yet. The apocalypse was never certain. And we missed it. We all missed it. All the angels, all the demons. We forgot about the once and future king."

"So Arthur's return is more certain than the apocalypse. I'll take that as a good sign."

There was another bout of silence, this one longer than the previous.

"You know what it's like to be in love," Castiel said unexpectedly.

Merlin looked up him in shock, an array of questions flicking through his mind. "Romantically?"

"Yes, but not just that…morethan that. Like you're willing to dedicate everything you are to one person. Like you would give anything and everything, and you'd stay with them forever, and—"

"Yes." Merlin looked Castiel straight in the eye, unwavering. "But you already knew that."

Castiel shifted his eyes to the grass. "I suppose I did."

"Then why ask?"

"How did you know?"

Merlin pressed his lips together in a tight lipped smile. "The man you pulled from Hell. Dean. You love him."

Castiel didn't look up. "I shouldn't though. He's a human."

"So?" Merlin's tone drew Castiel's eyes to his. "Don't start whining to be about forbidden love. This isn't a teenage angst novel. I'm a sorceror and Arthur was the King of Camelot. And I loved him. It took me ages to realize it, and it was too late by then, but still. I'm going to have a second chance someday, and I'm going to take it. So you take yours."

Castiel shook his head stubbornly. "But I've done things, Merlin. Terrible things. Things I don't deserve forgiveness for."

Merlin moved his eyes to the gray sky. "Everyone deserves forgiveness, Castiel."

It could have been minutes or it could have been an hour before they spoke again, Merlin wasn't sure.

"We were in Purgatory for a year."

"Purgatory?"

Castiel nodded. "Dean got out, but I stayed. He wasn't happy with me when I returned."

"How'd you get back?"

"I don't know."

"Why'd you stay?"

"Penance."

"I know how that is."

Castiel huffed a small laugh. "This isn't your penance, Merlin."

"Then could you please tell me what it is?"

Castiel shrugged. "It is what it is. Who knows why my Father does what he does."

"Is he still around? Last time we talked you thought he'd gone missing."

"I did, but not anymore. I believe he's still there. Somewhere."

The slow moving shadows ticked away minutes.

"Do you think he loves you?" Merlin asked. "Dean."

"I couldn't say."

"Yes, you could."

Castiel shot him a look that made Merlin want to laugh coming from an angel.

"He found me in Purgatory when I didn't want to be."

"Why?"

"Did he find me?"

"I know why he found you, why didn't you want to be found?"

"It would've put him in danger to be with me. How do you know why he found me?"

"Because he loves you too, genius. It's not that difficult to grasp. Do you think I could meet him? His brother, too?"

"Sam would love that," Castiel said. "He enjoys history. Meeting Merlin would be…it would be great. The angels were a let down."

"What do you mean?"

"Dean didn't believe, but Sam prayed. He prayed every night and when he found out angels were real, he was ecstatic, but—"

"But there's a bunch of you that are complete asses," Merlin finished with a grin.

Castiel frowned at him.

"You've told me enough about your brothers and sisters that I know," Merlin said.

"Many of us are dead now."

"What?"

"When the apocalypse didn't happen, Heaven was thrown into civil war. The effects were devastating."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"I don't know where they are now. No one knows where we go when we die. Or even if we exist after."

"You do," Merlin said confidently. "Nothing ever really ends. You should go back to them. The Winchesters, I mean. They've been good for you, I think. You're different than you've been. It's good."

Castiel didn't make a move to leave.

"Take the hint, dumbo. Go to tell your idiot you love him. I'll still be waiting here for mine."

"Would you like it if I came to visit more often?"

Merlin smiled warmly at him. "Yes. Yes, I'd like that. Bring your friends," Merlin said. "I'd like to meet them."

Castiel smiled at him, and this one reached his eyes, lighting them up. "I'll see you soon, Merlin."

"See you soon, Castiel."

The angel vanished.


End file.
